Series Review: Resident Evil Part 1

The RE games, known as Biohazard in Japan, are a series of games belonging to the Survival-Horror genre. The game at first glance looks just like a game where you must survive a zombie apocalypse, but it actually is much more. RE games is not only a horror game, it is also a story about a plot about a company conspiracy, biological warefare, and eco terrorism in later versions. The series all started in 1998.

Resident Evil 1 (The Mansion Incident)

The first game takes place in the neighboring Arklay mountain region by Raccoon city somewhere in the United States (all fictional of course). In July of 1998, a series of strange cannibalistic murders triggers an investigation by the local Police departments special forces, STARS, the Special Tactics and Rescue Service. The story starts out with Alpha team, investigating the helicopter crash of the other team, Bravo team. The team is ambushed by mutant dogs (known as Cerebrus) and the team flees for cover inside a mysterious mansion while their helicopter pilot, Brad flies away. You play as either Jill Valentine, or Chris Redfield, and explore the mansion, uncovering a conspiracy from a big company Umbrella. The game is one of the first true, if not the first, survival horror games made, because it incorporates the classic haunted house atmosphere, the eerie music, and the combination of grotesque violence. It's selling point is not the gore, although it is pretty graphic. The puzzle solving was very innovative as well, making this game the starting point for a very successful franchise. The very first version for PS1 was notorious for it's terrible translation, voice acting, with generous amounts of Engrish.





Resident Evil 2 (The City Outbreak)

The second game takes place a few days after the mansion incident, Jill and Chris flee Raccoon city, and a huge zombie outbreak occurs and the city's population is nearly wiped out. You play the role of either Claire Redfield, Chris Redfield's sister, or Leon Kennedy, a rookie police officer going to his first day of the job. As the outbreak occurs, you flee to the local police station to take refuge, but realize that the station is not safe, a huge variety of monsters come out for you same as the mansion incident, as you explore deeper into the inner areas of the station, you pick up memoirs and diaries of people there. You learn about the Umbrella conspiracy, and corruption within the police department. You also encounter Sherry Birkin, a young girl who is connected to a Dr. William Birkin, who is responsible for the outbreak and also the engineer of a virus strain that causes mutations changing things into monsters. You also encounter Ada Wong, an agent who helps you, but to achieve her own agenda. The game ends with the protagonists escaping the city of course, but also sets the tone for the next game in the series.

Resident Evil 3 (The Nemesis series)

This game takes place in the same time as the out break that wipes out the city. This time in the view point of Jill Valentine. At the time of the outbreak, Umbrella  sends its own team of special forces, UBCS, to contain the outbreak, but they too are mostly wiped out. Jill runs around the city trying to survive and avoid a programmed bio weapon, the Nemesis, who was sent to kill all members of STARS, the only people in the city that have witnessed the mansion incident. Along the way, you meet one of the UBCS, Carlos and work together to survive. After fighting off the Nemesis the group escapes the city right before the entire city is wiped out. The game incorporates less of the creepy lab motif, and being trapped by monsters, it leans more towards fighting of zombie hoards like the conventional horror games nowadays.

Game Music

So a huge part of gaming is the music. Here are just some soundtracks from games I've played over the years, that I really like. Not just cuz they are from games, but because well, if I didn't know where they came from, I'd still really like them!

Soul Calibur 2- Hubris

 

Sonic Adventure 2 Battle- Radical highway

Star Fox Assault- Mid Air Battle

Custom Robo- Do your best!

 

 Resident Evil- 2nd Floor Mansion theme

Final Fantasy IX- Battle theme

 

Final Fantasy Tactics- Trisection

Ocarina of Time- Title Theme

 

Street Fighter 4- Volcano Stage Theme

Super Mario 64- Dire Dire Docks

 

Metroid Prime Menu screen

Ocarina of Time- Spirit Temple

There are tons more, but I'm sure this is a good sample!

Unfortunate Design

My list of some of the worst Transformer's ever conceived.

Number 5- Insecticons- Kickback, Shrapnel, and Bombshell

I see where Waspinator got his uselessness

These guys are really useless you know. They are arguably comic relief or joke characters, there's not a single episode where they don't get blown up. Their dialogue is terrible too, I think of these clowns as the shittier version of Waspinator from the Beast Wars series... he might be a comic relief guy too, but at least hes funny. Their major selling point is that they eat everything, and anything. More of a nuisance than a real threat if you ask me, and they have the ability to multiply images of themselves infinitely.



4. Dirge, Thrust, and Ramjet

Cheap copies of the original jets, shame on you Hasbro-Tomy

The series started off with Starscream, Thundercracker and Skywarp as the Decepticons main flying force, but I think Tomy-Hasbro ran out of toy idea's and decided to make another set of planes. These guys are like the original jets, except shittier. Another idea the produces pulled out of their ass, and calling them the Coneheads didn't help their appeal either. I would take a Starscream over these fucks anyday.





3. Perceptor

Autobots, transform and roll- sorry

I've said this once, and I'll say it again. Perceptor is honestly one of the most stupid Autobots I've ever seen. I mean he turns into a microscope. What the shit is the point of that? From what I've seen every single one of the Autobots can zoom in one things with their eyes anyways, what good is he anyways? He doesn't even turn into a vehicle, so when Optimus calls for the Autobots to "Transform and roll out" What does Perceptor do? He Transforms into a fucking microscope and zooms in and focuses on something real small. Putting him on a show where the predominant theme is vehicles is not a good idea.



2. Wheelie

you go wrong way you fool i say- fuck you

I first saw this piece of shit in Transformers the movie from the 80's and thank fuck he's not a predominant character... His sole purpose is to annoy the shit outta everyone, with his rhyming, and high pitched voice, and just him being an asshole and shooting a rock at Grimlock's nose. No kid want's this piece of shit toy, unless he has down syndrome.


1. Dirtboss

beep beep beep

First off, his name is Dirtboss. Secondly going back to the theory that Decepticons are generally badass, as in turn to jets, and space ships and tanks etc etc... WTF a Forklift of all things? I can understand the Autobots having something like this, but you Deceptifucks really screwed up this time. While everyone's flying out to shoot purple laser beams, Dirtboss is gonna lift some heavy boxes aww yeaaa...

Nostalgia continued

Moving on into later days, I got the Nintendo Gamecube, arguably one of the best consoles ever made, got me hooked on every game I owned on it.

Super Smash Bros Melee. Need I say more? I played this literally every chance I got, and I never got bored, it was that good. Nintendo characters bashing eachother, with more characters, and better graphics, new levels, bringing back familiar games, nostalgia at its best. Took me about a year to get everything, not just characters, but sound test, extra modes, stages the whole thing. Well not the trophies but no one ever gets all the trophies. I'm a strange kind of gamer, and I don't really choose the over used characters that everyone is into (Falco, Marth cough) I prefer harder characters to use like Luigi, Yoshi, and some others. Anyways, all in all, this was an excellent game, and I would continue to play it for another decade or so.

Next game I got, Super Mario Sunshine, I absolutely loved it, Mario64 with improved visuals, sounds, themes, and more character interactions to boot, lots more. The bright and colorful scenario's and settings are easy to get into. The game is a huge mix of cleaning the streets, parkour, platforming, and just having a good time in general, going on amusement park rides, playing soccer in the streets, running around in the sewers, you can do almost anything. The game wasn't too hard, it was relatively easy compared to 64 but that's cuz I was much older when I beat this.

"i'm a so sad"

Luigi's mansion, man Nintendo's pathetic attempt at a horror game. I'm just kidding, it was about fun and games and about how Luigi transitions from an underdog overshadowed by his accomplished brother to a complete pussy. Anyways it's worth a play, but definitely not up to scratch. Shame on you Nintendo.

Mario Kart Double Dash. 2 guys on a Kart, twice the items, sounds good? It is good. This game is still fun even today, racing and tossing shit at people has never looked better than ever. It is significantly harder than its predecessors though. Something people need time to get used to I suppose, but otherwise a great game.

The Namco Artists always outdo themselves

Soul Calibur 2. A damn fine game. A good array of characters to choose from, and great fighting, more fluid and fast paced than it's cousin Tekken, but still has a novel quality to it's gameplay and story. The multiple (non-cannonical) endings sucked alot and it usually ended with the character getting taken over by Soul Edge, or the good characters destroying the sword and commiting suicide (WTF). This is a fun game, it's action packed, its got tons of special features (weapon masters?), and we've got plenty of panty shots (Seung Mina? Sophitia?). And yes, Talim is only 15 years old you pedophiles.

The cast, and the kid, Genus the Penis

Tales of Symphonia. RPG elements and fighting action in one game, the guy who first thought of this was a fucking genius. It fits well with the game, and this is the first Gamecube game that I've ever played to feature 2 disks. The game runs well, has great plot, visual, story, it's pretty much flawless in the major categories. If you want to nit pick, the amount of side quests is staggering, many are pointless. Also there are issues with the battle camera but thats not all that important. Played this game and beat it 4 or 5 times, lots of replay value.

Custom Robo. When I first got this, I got it cuz it looked cool, or the cover did at least, and the opening movie, oh man I was impressed, what kind of 14 year old boy would not be impressed by this.

Unfortunately the actual combat isn't quite this epic, but it's still fun nonetheless. The good part about this is you can unlock various guns and and bombs and other parts to make your perfect fighting machine. The main plot is really good, a little limited sometimes, but still good, and it is full of comic relief. You battle various people around town leading you to bigger problems, but I won't spoil that for you. Anyways this is a severely underrated game, and definitely deserves some recognition, if you are a Gamecube fan check it out.

Epic Battle

Another game that I really loved was Star Fox Assault, they really put more emphasis into the story, and of course revamped its multiplayer, unfortunately it still had above average reviews only because of the tone the first game set. All in all the first game good, and it just made this one seem not as good as it actually is, which is something plenty of review magazines talk about. But it's still good, check it out!

Yep Fox, you are fucked

While we are on the subject, Starfox Adventures is also one of those good ones. Even though it's a spin off, and it sound kinda cheesy (save the dinosaur planet?) it proved to be a good adventure game. Think of it like Starfox meets Legend of Zelda. The plot was good, lot's of good cutscenes, NPC interactions, you befriend a Triceratops called Tricky, you help out the various tribes, really like a Disney movie (I'll be making that comparison alot). The ending however really solidified it as a good game to me. You battle Andross (who would have saw that coming) and Falco reappears, that's all I'll give away, and you should have seen it coming anyways.

Nostalgia

So a week ago a couple of my buddies came over to play Nintendo games, and rummaging through all my games, I realized that games nowadays aren't what they used to be (I say this a lot). Maybe it's because I have never bothered to buy a next gen console, but even without my own, I still play a fair bit of them. Anyways the point is to highlight some of what I call, the Golden age of gaming for me.

It all started in 1998, the Nintendo 64, the first (or second apparently) 64 bit console to go on the market.

First off I got Mario Kart 64, this game was amazing, it was so good even my dad played it occasionally. Yeah my dad played it, that's how good it was. Anyways it was my first real 3D game, and I was in awe of how much fun it was. Really well designed, good game play, good graphics, good music. The one criticism I have of it is it's terrible voice acting. It wasn't that bad back then but nowadays when i hear them go "MAMMA MIA" I cringe a little.

The next game I got as a gift, Super Mario 64, and boy was that a tough one. For fuck sakes it is a pretty simple game as it is, there's no real challenge in figuring out what to do. But give me a break I was 10 years old when I got this. Anyways the whole premise is you go to the castle, you jump into portals hidden in the portraits, and you have to collect a huge load of stars to fight Bowser and rescue the Princess. It was a good adventure, as frustrating as it was for me back then, and it was fun. There were some scary moments too especially involving that fucking eel in Jolly Roger Bay, but of course I managed to beat it.

Next came Starfox 64 and boy was this one hard. I had no clue what the fuck I was doing half the time, all I knew how to do was shoot everything that appears, I didn't know how to unlock different levels. Like on level 1, Corneria, you are suppose to save Falco, and fly under all the arches in the lake to unlock an alternate level 2.... Who the fuck would ever figure that shit out? Anyways it was a good game overall, it was fun, it had a good story (for N64) and it came with lots of memorable scenes "do a barrel roll" etc etc.

The christmas of 1999 I got Yoshi's story. This game was real good, it's style of artwork was really unique, the characters are all rendered in 3D but all the background was made of paper, cardboard, or sewn fabrics. The story is about Yoshi traveling all the way to Bowser's castle to save a tree that spawns an infinite amount of fruit. The levels are like a picture book, and you can choose a different scenario in each world which I thought was clever also.

Water Temple, fucking over gamers since 1998

Later that year came the game that would be heralded as the number 1 game ever made for a time, and still is up there today, 13 years after its release. Ocarina of Time, I was introduced to this as a kid, by some older kids, I was instantly amazed at it. It was about adventure, fantasy, sword fighting, magic, a story of the underdog becoming a hero, everything I wanted in a game. I picked this up, and I struggled with it for a long time, I swear this game should have been rated T because IMO it is a real hard game for me back then. It took me a good 3 months to beat the first level and kill Gohma. It has some of the more cryptic puzzles in video games too. Like the spider webs in the first level, where you are suppose to light one of your tree branches with a torch and carry it over, took me forever to figure out, and the spider webs on the ground, I didn't know you had to jump off a high ledge to break it, then again I wasn't very intelligent back then. Anyways even after I started to get the hang of it and made rapid progress, it wasn't til 3 years later til I actually beat the game. The Water Temple took me a whole year, no jokes.

The next game I got was Super Smash Bros, and this was fun, I played this like no tomorrow. I would literally beat the game with every character on the hardest difficulty every day, within 2 hours I unlocked everything. Then I get 4 people and we have mindless fun just fighting otherwise theres not that much to this game. It was one of Nintendo's genius idea's that eventually spawned 2 very successful sequels.

The next game I got was Pokemon Stadium, it was Pokemon, I was 11 years old, who wouldn't want to get this? However I did spend all my time on the games crazy emulator thing, that lets you play your Blue, Red and Yellow versions, and abused the double speed, I also used the professor Oak's lab thing to dupe.

Then I got Mystic Ninja, and man was this fun. It's relentless amount of action, platforming, martial arts and really cheesy lines and puns would keep me entertained for days and days at a time. I would say this is one of the better games on made.

Now those are just some of my favorites, but I have tried plenty of strange and obscure games also, you might have heard of the Bomberman Hero's series, its not bad, but it's just a little strange IMO. Hexen was another weird one, Chameleon twist, Glover, Tetrisphere, Gex... they were very interesting games, you don't see many like these around these days. Of course I was already very impressed with the work I've seen from Nintendo, and I'm sure they will keep making quality games for a while, which leads me to the next generation after N64.

5CM/Second... more like 5 bullshits/second

秒速5センチメートル: アチェインオブショートストリーズアバウトゼアディスタンス 5 Centimeters Per Second: a chain of short stories about their distance

I watched this the other day at my friends house, and seriously, the idea's that are put into kids heads these days.

Long story short its about a kid who wants to reunite with her child hood sweet heart.

School seperated them, they kept in touch, and now they are gonna go to each other and meet.
The kid boards a train, and leaves. He gets caught in a blizzard and is delayed hours and hours. All the while we get a long monologue of how dramatic his life is and how he met the girl. Of course we are supposed to get a sense of how chivalrous our manly this guy is suppose to be, traveling half way across the country to see a girl... where have we heard that from?

Anyways the girl ends up waiting for him, then they visit a shack and watch the stars  under  a blanket and the motherfucking KISS... thats right kids, they KISS. Climax of the movie right there.

I suppose i should say something about the letters that they never exchange, or about how at the end they accept that their distance will seperate them etc etc etc cuz they are important themes to the movie, but to be honest I don't care too much for this film or this genre in particular.

The idea's presented here are idealistic, too idealistic. In fact its cheesy beyond words, and is probably intended for girls... or really really emotional people. I'm sorry y'all but any of you guys watching this over the age of 15, you guys need some help, because you are some fucked up fucks you know that.
Don't go about treating girls like this guy does in the film, you don't look like a nice guy, you just look like a fucking fag.

The shittiest players.

You've seen the heroes now meet the zeroes

1. Bruce Bowen 6'7 200 lbs

2.01 m, wow I didn't know they stacked shit that high. He is a piece of shit and he doesnt belong in the league at all. He came out of some shitty Jr College and he was undrafted but somehow made it into the league after a couple years of bullshit, I'm not quite clear because no one cares about this douche. Now what really bothers me is how he is heralded by some as a great defensive player. Defense my chinese ass, this guy is probably the dirtiest player the league has ever seen, he sucking fucks, he fucking sucks, he couldn't defend a 15 year old without kicking him in the face. His technique of undercutting and trying to trip players on the drive is so obvious, that no real player on the floor can take him seriously. He has injured the likes of Steve Nash, Vince Carter, Steve Francis, Jamal Crawford and Allen Iverson. I don't know why he was even in the league but to the San Antonio Spurs, shame on you, and to Greg Popovich, shame on you for playing such a shitty player.

2. Paul Pierce 6'7 235 lbs

The stats don't mean too much to me, but this guy is one of the most overrated players this league has ever seen, not like Joe Johnson with his grossly overpaid salary overrated, but overrated as an athlete in general. This was one of the better small forwards in the eastern conference for a time (only because there were no real good small forwards until Lebron James was drafted) but after watching this guy these past few years, theres really nothing special about him, besides him playing dirty. All these years he's denied Lebron, and weaseled Boston (an overrated team mind you) into the eastern play off scene. Besides shooting 3's and playing dirty (faking injuries, faking fouls, committing clear path fouls with no calls etc etc etc) he really has nothing going for him.

3. Stephen Jackson 6'8 215 lbs

Captain Jack? More like Captain my asshole. This guy is another one of the most overrated player, he's like Paul Pierce but shittier (who is like Lebron, but shittier). He is a punk ass stupid fuck, he is mediocre at best in terms of defense. He is okay on the offensive end, but only against some shitty bench small forward. Against real guards like Kobe or bigger forwards like Josh Smith or Lebron, he's got absolutely no game. The one time Charlotte made the playoffs recently against the Orlando Magic, he had the nerve to pick a fight with Vince Carter, he was mad because all the players on that team will have better careers than he ever will have. He left Golden State after QQing about his injury. What a joke.

4. Dirk Nowitzki 7'0 245 lbs

I was wrong about the highest stack of shit, now we have a 7 foot stack of shit. This guy sucks monkey dicks. He's not a power forward, he is one big shooter, thats all he's good for. Him and his shitty owner Mark Cuban think they have such a great team, but in reality, they are worse than the Celtics, they play "physical" (i.e dirty) and just have Dirt Nowitzki shoot, because thats all he's good for. Let him post up? He sucks. Let him drive? He sucks. Rebound, blocks, defense? Fucking non existant. People say this guy is "hardworking" he works as hard as my asshole, he should do the NBA a favor and go back to Europe.

5. Darko Milicic 7'0 275 lbs

I know what people are saying, how he is improving, how he should have gotten lots of playing time etc etc etc. It is true he has had resurgent performances, and his numbers and stats are not that bad anymore. But the fact still comes to this, his numbers are mediocre, maybe good enough to be a starter, but still mediocre. What really kills it, is the fact that he was selected number 2, in the 2003 draft. Yes arguably the best draft in the last decade. He was selected 2nd overall among the likes of Lebron James, Carmelo Anthony, Chris Bosh, and Dwyane Wade. Draft bust much? Joe Dumars really fucked that up, he could have had Anthony, Bosh or Wade instead, all of whom had major rookie seasons and average well around 25 points per game. Darko averages 6.1 ppg, enough said.